My Response to a Friend’s Questions about Retirement
Retirement isn’t a destination; it’s a journey. Your experiences, needs, and wants will be different at different stages of your new life.
I could easily be “retired” as long or longer than I “worked.” This isn’t a vacation.
While working, I always wanted to try the new and different. This is still true in retirement. I have a hunch that if one lived a boring work existence, then you will probably live a boring retirement one. No proof – just a hunch.
It’s a lovely life – so good that if folks knew what it was going to be like, they’d do it as soon as they can. Both Gene and I retired at 55 from the day-to-day although I continued to write and teach online. Both were time consuming tasks but at my discretion. The income was icing on the retirement income cake. I could take it or leave it. I’ve now left it.
- Do you sleep more? Maybe.
- Do you go to bed earlier or later? I can hardly remember what I used to do, but now I go to bed about 10:30 and read till sleepy.
- Do you get up earlier or later? I get up about 7:30 or 8 or 8:30 🙂 I try to never make early morning appointments leaving that to those who have to go to work.
- Do you worry about money? Not often although I did at first.
- Do you have a budget? I mostly pay attention to my spending habits – cutting back if I’m overdoing it. I know how much I have available and stay within those limits.
- Do you have a part-time job? No longer – I did at first.
- Do you find that you spend more or less on a monthly basis than when you were working? If you don’t count travel expenses, sort of less (although the cost of living has gone up in the last 14 years so it’s hard to measure accurately). My passions take money, but it’s a choice thing. I don’t have to buy things that are out of my budget.
- Do you have things you are passionate about? Duh. Actually, far too many for the hours in my day.
- Is it easier or harder to manage your weight and fitness? it’s never easy – retirement doesn’t change the reality of life.
- Do you eat more healthily? I probably do since I have time to make plans for food and have prep time. If we don’t eat out, we eat quite healthy much to the despair of my grandchildren who think I believe that brussels sprouts are heaven’s food. It’s easier to exercise and eat well, but it still takes a commitment. I love that I can eat when and what I need to rather than on someone else’s timetable (remember that as a teacher one even pees on a schedule). All these points make for much better choices.
- Do you go to a gym? I don’t at the moment. I did when we lived in Lubbock. When we moved to our new town, I transferred to water aerobics. In Lubbock we walked every night. Brenham is too hot and humid during a big part of the year to do that with much pleasure. I try to replace gardening as a form of ongoing exercise since weeds are ever present.
- Do you read? Yes. Another “duh.”
- What do you read? I read everything (I joined a book club which encourages “healthier” reading). I share book names with my children and friends. Rather than actually “reading,” though, I listen to most books rather than read them. I have an Audible account, and I can get many books I’m interested in using the public library online access. This means I’ve always got a book on my phone. I listen while my husband watches sports. I listen before falling asleep. I listen in the car. I listen while doing laundry. You get the picture.
- Do you play games? Yes, Words with Friends, online Scrabble since there’s no group where I live, and Minecraft with the grands. We also occasionally play Mexican Train with some friends. We played no games before retirement so this is a change in behavior.
- Do you drink coffee or tea? Yep. My husband grinds beans every night before we go to bed so we have lovely fresh ground coffee each morning. A treat that never ceases to be welcome.
- Do you drink Booze? Yep. Although for me it’s usually a small glass of wine at dinner. A cocktail once a week – Friday night ritual.
- Do you go to bookstores or libraries? Not often because I buy digital books rather than paper ones. See #13 about listening rather than reading.
- Do you travel? YES – far more than I ever imagined. Our goal is to go to as many places as we can before we can’t.
- How old were you when you retired? 55
- Did you retire sooner or later than you planned? I retired right on schedule. Gene retired at 55 (his long term goal) and in 18 months when I reached the same age, I turned in my resignation.
- Was this sooner or later then you wish you had retired? It was the perfect time.
- Did you retire because you had to or because you wanted to? I wanted to. We wanted to travel and do things while we were still young and healthy enough to fully enjoy the experience. It was a good decision. We have seen far too many of our friends go from “can travel” to “can’t” almost overnight. All the extra money we would have made (and it would have been a considerable amount) was not enough to make us wiling to take the chance that we’d never get to “enjoy” it.
- And does that affect your attitude about your retirement? Probably.
- Do you have hobbies? I have too many for the hours in the day (I’m applying for a 36 hour day).
- Do you watch a lot of TV? TV? Is there still TV? We watch the news at night. Gene watches sports. I do watch Downtown Abbey but it’s about to end 😦
- Do you watch too much TV? Probably since the news is bad for my soul.
- What is the role of grandchildren, children, friends, aging parents, pets? These are important as are all relationships – we moved just to have a chance to see grands grow up. Such a great decision. We left friends behind but keep up with them, travel with them, and don’t feel we lost them. We have made many new ones in our new place. Life without pets is not a world I can imagine.
- Are you a caretaker for anyone? I’m not even a caretaker of myself.
- Are you single or married, and how do you think that affects your retirement? I am very married. I think it might be lonely without someone around, but when one has been married for nearly 50 years, it’s hard to imagine life without a spouse.
- Did you do a lot of financial planning for retirement, and is it working out as you expected it to? We paid off the house early. We made sure our cars were paid off. We were both in a situation where we were in defined pensions so we could anticipate a specific amount each month. Plus we had guaranteed health care up to 65 when Medicare took over. We were in an enviable position to retire.
- Did you do much planning for how you would spend your time? Nope. I knew I’d sleep for the first six months and that was so true.
- How has retirement affected your self image and self-esteem? I believe it has improved it. I’ve discovered I am so many things other than a teacher: a gardener, a photographer, a genealogist, a grandmother, a traveller, and a friend. The list of new ways to define myself goes on and on.
- Has retiring affected your health either positively or negatively? Stress reduction has to have made a positive change – or so I hope.
- What do you miss about being in the workplace? I used to miss the camaraderie of co-workers and kids, but I’ve replaced that loss with other people who meet the same needs through organizations that I work with: herb society, lifetime learning, Washington County Read, and the genealogical society as well as church.
- Do you think you’ll ever go back to work full-time? Oh, please, NOOOOOO.
- Do you think you’ll ever go back to work part-time? Not likely. We travel too much making the logistics difficult.
- What do you think are the best things about retirement? Freedom.
- What are the downsides to being retired? There aren’t enough hours in the day. It’s too easy to say YES and then get tied down to more obligations than one can meet.
- What do you think is the best preparation for retirement, particularly socially, emotionally, avocationally? It’s important to understand that just like a move – you can’t escape whatever issues you had before you retire. Retirement won’t suddenly make everything in your life perfect. There are STILL only 24 hours in the day. You do not have unlimited time or energy. You have to be your own boss. If you didn’t handle that responsibility well while working, you won’t find it any easier in retirement.
- One last statement: I won’t try to make you believe that I went into retirement with no trepidation. I had all those concerns that your list includes. I really wondered if we would find ourselves in financial difficulty making it necessary to go back to work. I worried that I wouldn’t be a “person” when my occupation had to be listed as retired. My experience has been that like so many things we worry about that might be in the future none of these turned out to be an issue.
Susan E L Lake 
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